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Margaret Irribarra Swanson's avatar

Ok I have some thoughts. But I want to be VERY clear that I too have tiny demons and in NO way have this figured out! I just watch a lot of TikTok and I’m on the parenting algorithm. In terms of quiet time, my kids LOVE audiobooks. So I’m grateful that if I put stories on in their rooms they generally will play quietly and listen. So that would get me 45mins of quiet.

Listening….. what I think is true and what I KNOW I don’t have much energy to do, is that getting kids to listen right now is a very involved process. I’ve heard that we’re supposed to say “when…. Then…..” as opposed to “if… then…”. I also have seen advice like go up to the child, engage them and then say something like “wow, you have really been working hard on this Lego build. It’s time for us to take a break so we can have dinner, but we can come back to it later”… or something like that. I have also heard one that actually did seem to work pretty well the two days I had energy to try this. Which is you say “its time to go put your shoes on” and if they don’t do it, you go over to them and say “mommy said it’s time for us to go put our shoes on”… and then you’re supposed to go with them and help them do that.

But again…. A lot of these strategies require my full involvement. Which also means I apparently need to have no other things going on - like packing lunches or making breakfast or heaven for bid trying to get my own self ready for the day.

God speed my friend! Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart…. Or the impatient! Hahahahh

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Chelsea Keat's avatar

I love the audiobooks tip! I'm going to try this. I fully relate to the parts where you refer to the days you have energy to try something, like new parenting strategies or what not. So much of how we parent requires energy as a starting point. Thanks for leaving your thoughts. Love knowing we're in this together.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Sigh. Such a hard stage. Exhausting! One thing that helped me — and this may not be your choice — was getting other humans to entertain and teach my kid, aka pre-school. They have ways of helping kids learn to do things without a pitched battle…and you get a break from being the repetitive mean mom. Blessings in whatever you pick.

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Chelsea Keat's avatar

Oh yes, the kids are at daycare 3 days a week. It definitely helps with this difficult stage. Thank you!

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Nicole's avatar

No advice. Just a mama who appreciates the honesty, while going through a phase of scream-himself-to-sleep while walking the dog... How on earth do I parent both my dog and my child well as a single mom???

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Chelsea Keat's avatar

Thanks, Nicole. I can't imagine the strength and energy it takes to solo parent and give that pup the love and care it needs. That's a tremendous job.

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