Lessons from Bluey

from someone who despises pretend play

About two minutes after I returned home from dinner with a few girlfriends, I could hear Loren screaming for Dad upstairs. Loren was in his bedroom with his tablet watching a few shows while Jim put Kai to bed.

Loren’s favorite shows oscillate between Stinky and Dirty (Amazon Prime), Trash Truck (Netflix), and Bluey (Disney+), with the occasional smattering of Mighty Express, Thomas and Friends, and Blippi.  

Loren had pressed the wrong button on his tablet and needed help redirecting to the home page. I sat down next to him on his bed and snuggled up close. I began scrolling through the list of Bluey episodes, reading them out loud to him as I went, until his little finger floated over and pressed on “Magic” – Season 3, Episode 10.

The opening scene begins like this:

Mum finishes mopping, collapses on the couch in exhaustion, and exactly one second after she closes her eyes Bingo walks in and asks, “Mum, can you play with me?”

“Oh, you know what Bingo, not right now honey,” Mum says. Her response is loving and calm.

“Awww. Why not?”

“Well,” Mum giggles, “I just don’t feel like playing right now.”

Bingo and Bluey go off to play, and eventually, after Mum takes a moment to herself, she joins in.

That whole scene lasts about ten seconds, but it stuck with me.

Loren is deep into the world of pretend play right now. He wants me to be a car or a bulldozer and he wants me to make it talk. He wants to play kitties—to crawl around on all fours while nuzzling each other and meowing incessantly—or dinosaurs or Elsa. And he’s always asking the question, “Would you like to play with me?”

It’s sweet, yes, but it’s also exhausting. Especially for someone who despises pretend play, the thought of which usually makes me want to rip my hair out. I’m more of a let’s-do-a-puzzle-together-or-read-a-book-or-take-a-nice-walk kind of mom. But sometimes I get over it and delve into a rousing round of imaginative play anyway. Does it sometimes feel like He Who Must Not Be Named is sucking my soul from my body? Yes, yes it does. And other times, it’s not so bad.

What I love about the episode “Magic” is that it reminds me to keep balance. I can’t stay in my own world forever because I brought two tiny humans into existence and they’re my responsibility, but I also can’t spend my entire life catering to my kids’ requests to play all day. I’d go certifiably insane.

There must be a balance.

Mum does play with her kids. But first…

She rests. She says, "not right now." She takes a moment for herself. She is aware of what she needs, and she makes space for it.

She doesn’t begrudgingly play with her kids when she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t get off the couch and power through when she’s exhausted. She sets a clear boundary, and she sticks to it. She takes five minutes to herself. She knows how these kid-free moments make her a better person, partner, and parent. And she doesn’t feel bad about it.

I know Bluey’s technically a kids show, but it’s doing a lot for me too. Today, at least, it reminds me that it’s okay to say “not right now.”

What about you? How do you navigate the balance between engaging in imaginative play with your kiddos and taking time for yourself to rest and recharge?